


This Too Shall Pass

by lilithtorch2



Series: Gossiping and Bickering [11]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Brief mentions of the rogue possum, Despite the title it's not angsty, Established friendships, Euphemisms, F/M, Gen, Reality not same as rumors, There's an AU where Jotunheim and Asgard are okay with each other, slow update, traveling between worlds is easy as 1 2 3, written out of order
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-21
Updated: 2014-07-09
Packaged: 2018-01-09 13:19:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 10,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1146462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilithtorch2/pseuds/lilithtorch2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The 'scandal' of Natasha Romanoff and Bruce Wayne's break-up results in public backlash, mostly from the Internet and the tabloids. The Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D. agents deal with the repercussions.</p><p>Collection of one-shots and multi-parters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'm Iron Man AMA

**Author's Note:**

> We think we know someone well, especially a celebrity, and boy can we be quick to judge! (Even me!) It's also a commentary on how some idols are treated - the moment some fans realize that these idols are human, they lose interest (best case scenario) or get really angry (worst case scenario).
> 
> WARNINGS:  
> Chapter 4 is rated Mature.

All 1,246,583 comments

 _Richard W. asked…_ Any new projects?  
 _Agent C asked_ … When is Stark Expo this year? Fitz-Simmons would like to go.

Many of the commenters wondered who the hell Fitz-Simmons was but Tony Stark knew who it referred to and that “Agent C” represented Phil Coulson. Tony Stark grinned; with all the S.H.I.E.L.D. resources at their fingertips, he really didn’t need to ask, but it was a simple gesture to let him know that he’d planned to attend with his team.

Tony Stark responded to the first question. He was developing a better version of the Iron Man suit with Reed Richards and looking forward to working with Jane Foster on an undisclosed project pertaining to space travel. He was also making improvements to the arc reactor so that it will be environmentally sustainable. As to the second question, Tony recommended that fans like and follow his official social networking page for more information on the Stark Expo, which was planned for September.

 _StrawberryDaisies1 asked…_ Are you married to Ms. Potts?

It was at this point that Tony Stark’s S.H.I.E.L.D.-provided publicist offered an official reply indicating, “We will let you know when the information becomes available to us.” Tony sighed; he could really answer his own questions! This guy was very good at his job and quick to know when to intercede before Tony started revealing too much information about himself. In a private text to the publicist, Tony protested that he could respond to this question with a simple yes or no, but the publicist explained that he was simply following Nick Fury’s orders to keep the Avengers' and the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents' private lives as private as possible.

 _IronManFan asked…_ What’s it like to be a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent?

By name he was still a ‘consultant,’ but Tony supposed he’d been consulting for so long that he was a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent now. He’d gotten his ego in check long enough to be able to work with the other Avengers and save the world from the Chitauri, so he counted that as a win. He gave brief opinions on the other Avengers, but his nicknames for them said it all. Tony chatted with the fan for a bit, mentioning that he should probably ask Nick Fury to be officially instated as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent and patiently answered the fan’s other questions, including favorite food (shawarma, of course, and he recommended a place in New York City), and favorite music (AC/DC, Jimi Hendrix). As soon as he learned that the fan was also an aspiring scientist, he had Bruce Banner impart some sage life advice to him (because Tony knew that he himself wasn’t as good at it like Banner was) and the fan left grateful.

 _Anonymous asked…_ Is it true that Natasha Romanoff cheated on Bruce Wayne with Bucky Barnes?  
 _BuckyisanAsshole commented…_ Bruce Wayne deserves better.  
 _IHateSpiders replied…_ BuckyNat will never last!

Okay; Bucky and Natasha’s New Year’s kiss was not the best of moves for their public images, even though it happened long after Natasha and Bruce had split. But really, this supposed ‘scandal’ was old news by now. Before Tony could react, a comment popped up from someone named “BuckyNatforever” asking, “How do you know that BuckyNat won’t last? Do you personally know them?” IHateSpiders did not reply back but replied to other comments advocating objectivity and neutrality, nearly inciting a flame war, before he/she stopped commenting for the rest of the AMA. Whoever IHateSpiders was, he/she did not want his/her identity discovered and Tony was relieved he/she eventually stopped hijacking the thread.

As for Bruce Wayne, he wasn’t the kind of person who’d just jump into any relationship unless he was absolutely sure that the lady in question, whoever she was, was as interested in him as he was in her, so at the time, Natasha and Bruce were definitely into each other. They were the kind of people who were committed to a relationship, not the kind of people who had one foot in it and another foot elsewhere. They had broken up for a reason, and not for the reasons that anyone else would suspect. That’s all anyone else needed to know.

The publicist wisely responded to these and related comments with "No comment" or simply ignored it. He also 'strongly recommended' (ordered) Tony not to fan the flames. Not that Tony would do anything of the sort, considering that the Internet was talking about Bruce Wayne, his childhood best friend, and Natasha Romanoff, close colleague and friend. He was never going to ruin his relationships with the two.

 _VengeanceoftheSky commented…_ Natasha Romanoff is a gold-digging slut.  
 _Anonymous asked…_ How can S.H.I.E.L.D. allow cheaters in their ranks?  
 _Anonymous asked…_ I heard Bucky was a traitor to the U.S., why did Fury let him join the Avengers?

Wow.

And those were the ‘nicer’ criticisms about Natasha and Bucky. Being a celebrity who actually dared to read the Internet’s comments about him, it didn’t surprise him that these comments were being made. Still, the Internet could be pretty merciless. People were making some pretty strong judgments about someone they didn’t even know well. Other participants’ responses varied; they were vengeful, perfectly neutral, or even downright raunchy.

It was probably a good thing, though, that the fans didn't know anything about Fandral (one of Natasha’s exes, although she never confirmed that one and Thor wasn’t going to say anything).

Now _that_ would open up a whole new can of worms.

* * *

“Tough crowd,” Tony said to Pepper finally, referring to the ongoing and heated debate over the nonexistent Bruce-Bucky-Natasha love triangle.

“I keep warning you not to read those,” Pepper chided, smiling patiently at Tony.

“Well I kind of have to,” Tony protested innocently, “it’s an AMA. How else will I sift through all the questions they ask me?”

“Just be glad they don’t know about the possum,” Pepper said, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Indeed, Tony thought, sipping his coffee. That rogue possum alone could spark even more flames from the Internet fanbase.


	2. Bruce Wayne, Natasha Romanoff Relationship: A Timeline

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've taken a LOT of liberties with the timelines from the MCU. You can try the link, but it's fake.

**From celebrity-magazine.com dated March 12, 2015:**

As of January this year, notoriously private couple Bruce Wayne and Natasha Romanoff quietly and separately announced their break-up. Both parties claim it was amicable, but was it really? A source claims that Natasha cheated on Bruce with Bucky. The fact that Natasha and Bucky's relationship began just one month after the announcement is evidence of that, she adds. Is she right?

Let's review what we know:

**April 2008**

Natasha Romanoff shows up on the gossip radar as Natalie Rushman, a mysterious redhead linked to Tony Stark, billionaire industrialist and inventor. To the public, she’s simply Stark’s secretary and rumored main squeeze, but we think there’s more to her than meets the eye. Plus, we love her hair and fashion sense! Is she secretly a supermodel?

**June 2008**

National Gossip releases unconfirmed reports claiming that Natalie has relatives living in Russia.

**May 2008**

Natalie and Bruce Wayne first meet at Tony Stark’s annual birthday bash.

**December 2008**

Natalie Rushman attends the Wayne Christmas party with famed tech entrepreneur Scott Lang. At the end of the month, she disappears from public view; Tony Stark confirms that she found “other opportunities.”

**May 2010**

The Avengers, including one Tony Stark make their explosive public debut onto the global world. Natalie Rushman is outed as S.H.I.E.L.D. agent and Avenger Natasha Romanoff.

**Early 2011**

Along with Sam Wilson and Pietro and Wanda Maximoff, Bucky Barnes makes his public debut as a new Avenger. Bucky quickly earns a reputation as a heartbreaker.

**April 2012**

Natasha and Bruce attend Tony Stark’s annual spring charity ball at The Met together. Along with the other Avengers, Natasha Romanoff also rescues New York City from alien attack.

**June 2013**

Bruce and Natasha are spotted looking cozy together in the Bahamas. They go sailing and skydiving on vacation. The two publicly announce their relationship but do not confirm when it began.

**October 2013**

Natasha and Pepper Potts attend the Party Princes’ annual Halloween party. Natasha and ballerina Katerina have an impromptu dance-off. Her dance with serial heartbreaker Bucky Barnes propels rumors of a love triangle between Bruce, Natasha, and Bucky. Is Natasha's relationship with Bruce on the rocks already?

**November 2013**

Natasha and Bruce wave off rumors that their relationship is in trouble and attend the Wayne family Thanksgiving gathering together.

**December 2013**

Bruce and Natasha enjoy a private moment at Tony Stark’s Winter Wonderland event.

**January 2014 – September 2014**

The couple refuses to speak out about their dating life and life seems to be as usual for the two. They attend the usual charity events and awards ceremonies and are spotted vacationing in Mexico. Rumors abound that Bruce and Natasha are secretly engaged or that Natasha is pregnant. In mid-September, Natasha disappears from the public eye again, raising suspicion that Bruce and Natasha’s relationship is in trouble. Our source accuses Natasha of cheating.

**Early November 2014**

Bruce Wayne attends public events alone; Natasha Romanoff is seen at movie theatre with friend Darcy Lewis and fellow Avengers Steve Rogers and Clint Barton.

**December 31, 2014**

Natasha is caught walking out of an apartment building with Bucky and they share the infamous New Year’s Kiss seen around the world, fueling cheating rumors. Natasha spends the rest of the night with Bucky.

**January 15, 2015**

Bruce and Natasha separately announce their break-up but do not confirm when it actually took place. Friends and family close to Bruce and Natasha do not reveal any details.

Do you think that Natasha Romanoff cheated on Bruce Wayne with Bucky Barnes?

Sound off below!


	3. Girl on a Mission (No Matter What I'm Always Your #1 Fan)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry. The rogue possum thing just amuses me way too much. I usually try to avoid the "let's have kids!" speech as much as I can in fanfics unless it's canon but it felt right to include here.

“Are you Natasha Romanoff?”

Natasha Romanoff was hanging out with the other Avengers at the usual shawarma eatery when she heard a young girl calling out her name. She turned to look at the source of the voice; the girl could not have been more than six. It wasn’t every day you saw another person with red hair and the child had hers tied in two pigtails. Standing next to her was a mother who glared suspiciously at Natasha and Bucky Barnes. Natasha heard the mother warn her daughter something, but she only insisted, “Mommy, she’s an _Avenger,_ ” and ran toward the table where the Avengers were enjoying their meal.

Natasha smiled.

The other Avengers laughed as Tony jokingly protested that he was famous too, but the young girl only had eyes for Natasha. She introduced herself as Jenna and took the agent aside to whisper seriously, “I heard all these stories about you.”

Natasha’s calm façade cracked a little; even though she avoided reading most of the rumors swirling about, just knowing they existed was enough to hurt (enrage) her. It was unbelievable that there were still people who wanted to smear her reputation when nothing actually happened. Granted, she and Bruce Wayne had both agreed not to reveal any details about their breakup, so everyone naturally filled in the blanks on their own. Still, why couldn’t they just focus on the work she did as an Avenger, and not her personal life?

The girl gave a sidelong glance at Bucky, who was chatting animatedly with the other people at the table. “Ms. Romanoff,” the girl continued, “I just wanted to tell you that I’m glad he makes you happy. He seems nice.”

Natasha smiled and nodded as she gave the girl her autograph. As a thank you, she also unclipped a small Russian handmade floral hair clip from her head and gave it to the girl, telling Jenna that it would make her red hair even prettier. The girl then handed Natasha a small crumpled note that she had been carrying with her every second for just this moment. Her mission complete, she giggled and skipped away to her mother.

“Well that’s not something we see every day, right guys?” Clint Barton commented while Natasha spoke with the young girl. Everyone had assumed that the serious Natasha was not that great with children and were pleasantly surprised to see otherwise.

The other Avengers laughed again.

“Except Bucky. I’m sure Bucky’s seen _lots_ of things,” Bruce Banner said quietly, “especially one _wild squirrel_.” Bruce was referring to Thor’s misconception of what a possum was, among other things. A flash of red formed at Bucky’s cheeks while Steve agreed with Bruce.

More laughter.

“What was that about a wild squirrel?” Natasha hissed.

All eyes turned to look at Natasha nervously. She gave them her best murderous look before she calmly resumed her seat at the table and proceeded to affectionately wipe something off the side of Bucky’s lip with a napkin.

“So what did the kid tell you?” Tony asked her curiously.

“What I needed to hear,” Natasha simply responded.

“Ah, yeah, only Bucky gets to know everything,” Clint reminded Tony mockingly, and Natasha aimed a French fry at his face.

* * *

“That kid’s mom _hated_ us!” Bucky observed as he climbed into bed with Natasha later that night. “Could you tell?”

Natasha simply chuckled and nodded.

“What’d she tell you?”

“She gave me a note.” Natasha answered, showing Bucky the crumpled piece of paper sitting at her bedside table. “Want to read it?”

He did.

_Dear Ms. Romanoff,_

_Can I call you Natasha? I just wanted to tell you that I don’t believe in these rumors about you. I know they’re not true; people can be so mean sometimes. I know Bucky makes you happy. I can tell from the pictures._

_It's great you're an Avenger and saving the world from horrible monsters. You're my hero! Do you have superpowers?_

_I want to be an Avenger too._

_Love,_

_Jenna_

“Isn’t it adorable? Doesn’t that just make you want to have kids someday?” Natasha opened her mouth a little in surprise; she hadn’t meant to say that out loud yet (not until much, much later, anyway) and wondered how Bucky would respond.

“Yeah.” Bucky only grinned as he kissed Natasha, ruffling her hair. “Yeah, it does.”


	4. (Mature) I Didn't Make That...But Hey That Looks Like a Good Move to Try

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This got out of hand.
> 
> Mature rating because it blatantly mentions sex tapes.
> 
> Having a leaked sex tape, real or not, must be pretty traumatic for the parties involved but in this case my story's BuckyNat is able to compartmentalize rather quickly.

Clint Barton, Darcy Lewis, Aamir from I.T., and a few other S.H.I.E.L.D. agents walked out of the movie theatre, discussing the movie they had just seen. Clint and Stanley from Accounting both thought the movie in question was a fun ride; Darcy didn’t understand the point. Aamir simply nodded and swiped through his phone to surf through the Internet and catch up on the news. The first thing he saw on his screen dampened his spirits. Clarissa from Human Resources had sent him a link with the mysterious word: “URGENT.” And when Clarissa from Human Resources sent a message like that, it meant that there was a 95.9% chance he’d need to cut his evening of rest and relaxation short to solve some catastrophic tech problem at S.H.I.E.L.D. He clicked the link.

Yep.

Time to go into the office again.

It was at that moment that Stanley’s phone rang.

“Sir. Oh…yeah, Aamir’s right here, we were just done with…oh.” Stanley turned to Aamir with a confused look. “Aamir, Dad wants to talk. He said it’s important.” Dad was code for Agent Phil Coulson. (Mom was code for Director Nick Fury, but of course no one ever told him that.)

Aamir took the phone. “I’m sorry, da- _sir_ … _Yes_ , sir. I know that, sir, Clarissa just texted me… I’m sorry for, er, hanging out with my friends? … I did! I set my phone to vibrate! Uhm, is that arguing I hear in the background? …Are you there? Right…No, sir, I guess not… We’ll be right there.”

“What just happened?” the rest of the group asked Aamir curiously.

“You might want to see this,” he told them, handing the group his phone.

The headline read: “EXCLUSIVE! LEAKED ONLINE: BLACK EAGLE SEX VIDEO! NSFW!!!” Black Eagle referred to Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff.

Clint didn’t know what to say. He knew Steve was seeing Sharon Carter and that Bucky and Natasha’s futile quest to chase a wild animal was still ongoing. Someone out there really hated seeing Bucky and Natasha together and wanted to break them up, he thought. Granted, there was always the possibility that Bucky and Natasha were actually in an open relationship or participating in some kind of orgy… but that didn’t seem very likely…right?

“Ooof,” Darcy exclaimed, “Nat’s not going to be happy about this.”

* * *

When Aamir and the gang arrived at S.H.I.E.L.D., they found Steve Rogers, Sharon Carter, Natasha Romanoff, and Bucky Barnes huddled over a portable media device, debating whether or not they wanted to watch the actual sex video. Steve was blushing innocently. Sharon and Natasha were furious (“That guy in the picture? Clearly not Steve,” Sharon huffed). Bucky himself couldn’t decide how he should react to the report; he wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. Instead, he played it safe and wrapped a comforting arm around Natasha’s waist. Aamir assumed Phil Coulson had done some damage control already, or else Natasha would have gone rogue to hunt down and punish the culprits herself.

While Agent Phil Coulson briefed Aamir on the crisis, Natasha was eerily speechless.

Finally: “Who else, besides S.H.I.E.L.D. and our friends, knows about your sorry cover for our love life, Bucky?” Tension permeated her every word.

Bucky pulled away from her to protest: “ _My_ sorry cover? How about _ours_?”

“You’re the one that came up with it first!”

“You kept it going!”

“I _had_ to! What else was I going to tell Fury?!”

“And for your information no one else knows, or it'd be _my_ name in that, not Steve's!"

“For the record…” Stanley from Accounting spoke up in a small voice.

“ _WHAT?!_ ” The couple turned to glare furiously at him.

“It _was_ a pretty funny excuse, ma’am.”

Natasha’s eyes narrowed into a glare and Bucky almost burst into laughter until Natasha directed her flaming green eyes at him. He immediately fell silent.

Meanwhile, Aamir performed an initial analysis of the video. “They’re obviously not you and Steve, Natasha.”

“Of course they’re not.” Bucky agreed, before adding threateningly: “And I’m sure the other agents wouldn’t _dare_ do something like pose as my brother _or_ my girlfriend, now _would they_?”

Even though everyone in S.H.I.E.L.D. was completely innocent, they felt the need to remind the vengeful Bucky that they were honest and upright citizens.

“So who did?” Natasha asked, fuming.

“I’d have to do a detailed analysis of the video first.” Aamir replied calmly. "And once we track down the people responsible for this, I’ll do everything in my power to wipe it clean off the face of this earth.”

“I’d like to watch the video first,” Natasha concluded, “and see who these idiots are.”

Phil ordered, “Natasha Romanoff, I order you: when we find them, there will be _no torturing._ ” He looked at Steve and Sharon. “Do you somehow feel the need to view this video?”

Steve and Sharon shook their heads and put their hands up to say ‘no.’ Bucky was about to do the same, but Natasha dragged him to a quiet area away from the other agents and made him hold the portable media device while she attached a set of earphones to it. They both watched the tape together, with one earbud on resting on Natasha’s left ear and the other resting on Bucky’s right.

The other agents observed Bucky and Natasha carefully. There were definitely moments where Natasha was boiling with anger, but as they continued to watch the video, her rage seemed to subside. She motioned to Bucky and pointed at the screen, saying something to him. Bucky gave her an awed look and awkwardly put a hand behind his neck.

Did Natasha just wink at Bucky?

Before anyone could interpret what they saw, Natasha tapped the screen of the device, ending the video, and she and Bucky returned to talk to Phil. “I’m sure we’ll deal with this problem promptly, Agent Coulson, sir,” Natasha said calmly.

“Of course we will, Agent Romanoff.” Coulson responded. “We’ll find everyone responsible. You and Steve will be the first people we notify as soon as we have news.”

“Good…when I'm through with them, they'll think twice before crossing me again." Natasha thought about this. “Then if we’re not needed here, may we be excused?”

“We?” Bucky asked. “Oh…right.”

The dazed tone in Bucky’s voice revealed his intentions to Steve, who instantly gave him a stern look. “You’re not about to make…?”

Bucky looked at him, vexed. “We’re spies, Steve, of course not,” he said, implying that he would never reveal anything about his personal life to the public, especially not something like this.

But something _was_ going to happen, because Agent Coulson simply gave his best ‘exasperated parent’ sigh to Natasha. “Yes, Natasha, you and Bucky may leave now.”

“Thanks, Dad.” Natasha rarely called Phil that unless it was to ask for a favor.

“Have fun,” Phil responded sarcastically, agreeing to do the favor, “I’ll let your mother know when you’re back.”

Bucky grinned widely at Phil. “Don’t worry, I’ll treat her nice.”

“Barnes, that was too much information already,” Phil chided him.

But Bucky and Natasha simply walked away, eagerly talking about how they should “try something a little different tonight…”

 


	5. Don't Get Mad. Get Glad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't really mimic the "Leave Britney Alone" video and give this theme justice, so I went with a long blog rant instead.

**In a blog post dated May 27, 2015, _with 5,580,933 upvotes,_ _5,467,892 downvotes, and 2,369,752 comments,_ Frustrated Fan writes:**

I just have one simple message for everyone in this fandom: Leave Bucky and Natasha alone!

I am very disappointed. Since news broke out that Bucky Barnes and Natasha Romanoff are officially dating, there has been unbelievably negative backlash against them. I can’t believe how many of you have called Natasha a slut, a whore, a bitch, anorexic, etc. Seriously? Do you honestly think that Bucky would be happy to hear all of you dump on his girlfriend like that?

As for the cheating rumors, they are completely unfounded and there is no evidence.

How can you all (you know who you are) jump to these conclusions? How can you accuse Bucky Barnes and Natasha Romanoff of something when you don’t know what actually happened?

I mean, Bruce Wayne and Natasha Romanoff are notoriously private. All we think we know of them come from tabloid gossip like Celebrity Magazine and Zoe Brompton…can we really trust them to be accurate? Hell, we don’t even know when Natasha and Bruce Wayne broke up, only that they announced it in January. They could have broken up any time from September 2014 to January 2015, or maybe even earlier, which means that the New Year's Kiss was just that: A NEW YEAR'S KISS.

It's implied that the cheating began around October 2013. Uhm, that was a dance-off. It's pretty well known in gossip circles that Katerina can be pretty arrogant (it is this blogger's belief that huge egos come with the territory of being in the top). Why  _wouldn't_ Natasha, whom the public knows was a pretty talented dancer as well, accept her challenge? If you ask me, an elaborate swordfight was probably one of the best ways to deflate Katerina's ego. And **WATCH THE VIDEO.** Nothing happened. There was no bumping and grinding. And  what love triangle?! Bruce seemed to be perfectly okay with Natasha dancing with someone else and what's more, he and Natasha continued to date for about a year after this whole shindig went down.

"Natasha disappearing like that is so suspicious." That's not the first time she's disappeared like that. In fact, I'd say she makes a habit of doing so. Because maybe she's just tired of being in the public view for so long and needs a break!

“Bruce and Natasha looked so happy together,” some of you might say. Don’t forget, you are all the same people who jumped at the chance to accuse Natasha of being a golddigger. And now it’s like you’ve forgotten what you’ve said before! Are you all fucking hypocrites?! So, they could have broken up for any number of reasons. I will not list them here and perpetuate even more lies about strangers. All that matters is that we know nothing about these three.

I also know that many of you are hating on Natasha and claiming that she seduced Bucky somehow. Bucky is an individual with his own thoughts and ideas. He sees something in Natasha that none of us can see, and it’s because he actually spends time with her. Need I remind you that they are  _both_ Avengers? It's not impossible for them to get to know each other at all. Dating a co-worker? Nothing new. Plus, Bucky he likes what he sees, so shouldn’t we just be happy for him? And shouldn't we be happy for Natasha that she's found love again? I mean, she and Bruce Wayne broke up for a _reason_ ; you can't honestly be telling me that you actually want her to stay in a relationship that's not working out?

There's a reason that Bruce and Natasha aren't together anymore and it has absolutely nothing to do with any cheating...because there _is_ no cheating. Bucky and Natasha ultimately chose each other, and I think we should respect that decision and not harrass them so much.

  
SO LEAVE THEM ALONE! WHAT THEY DO IS NONE OF OUR BUSINESS!


	6. Bucky Barnes and Natasha Romanoff Open Up For First Time About Relationship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote in "Oh, You Two" that Bucky found out he loved Natasha since they were sixteen but I never said what year they were sixteen. If everyone's got the Super Soldier Serum I guess age doesn't matter that much after a point.
> 
> The format is based off the ending to When Harry Met Sally where couples get interviewed.

S.H.I.E.L.D. Publicist: "Just one thing."

Bucky: "Yeah?"

S.H.I.E.L.D. Publicist: "Please don't talk about the rogue possum _._ "

Bucky: "Wouldn't dream of it."

Natasha: "You better not!" *thwack!*

Bucky: "Hey! I'm not going to! I swear to God!"

Natasha, threateningly: "Swear to me!"

Bucky: "You did _not_ pick that up from-"

S.H.I.E.L.D. Publicist: "Shush!"

* * *

**From a recording of a livestream dated sometime in late 2016:**

_Bucky Barnes and Natasha Romanoff open up for the first time about their relationship, from the day they first met to how they’ve supported each other through scandal, assaults, and public backlash. They also talk about the benefits and disadvantages of working together as Avengers and future plans._

_If Steve Rogers and Sharon Carter are the popular supercouple of the Avengers, then Bucky and Natasha are the sexy dark horses._

_But first we must ask: how did a fashion and role model for girls everywhere become romantically entangled with the unlikeliest of men, James "Bucky" Barnes?_

"I wouldn't call it unlikely," Bucky protested.

"I didn't like him the first time I met him." Natasha admitted. “I thought he was a jerk.”

_When did you two first meet?_

"Oh, that's a long story," Bucky said with a straight face, trying not to reveal anything about Super Soldier serums, cryogenics and decades of time flying by really fast when one is asleep in ice. He finally managed, "It can be awfully hard to keep track of time..."

Offscreen, Natasha kicked him in the leg.

"We went to high school together," Natasha simply responded. Before the interviewer could ask where, she continued, "I was the new girl."

"I was the popular jock."

"He had an inflated ego. I took it down a couple notches.” Natasha crossed her arms victoriously.

“No, I remember what you said back then,” Bucky said, his hand gently brushing against hers.

“Did you?” Natasha asked flirtatiously, putting a hand on his arm.

“You said I’d do just fine.” Bucky grinned, and smiling, Natasha rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, if I wanted help with homework!” Natasha failed to mention that ‘homework’ meant ‘killing people in the middle of the night.’ "Anyway, once his head deflated a bit, we started hanging out more."

_Bucky, you were childhood friends with Steve Rogers, were you not?_

Bucky, suspicious, raised an eyebrow, wondering where this question would lead. “We were…”

_Did Natasha meet Steve at that point?_

The interviewer was clearly trying to fill in the gaps of Steve, Bucky, and Natasha’s pasts that didn’t make any sense at all. No one had figured out that Steve was the same Captain America from back in World War II and everyone (except Bucky’s Number 1 Fan, who was surprisingly quiet about it) assumed that Bucky Barnes just happened to look like a great-grandfather who just happened to be a Howling Commando alongside the original Captain America. As for Natasha, no one (except maybe the National Gossip) knew about her part in the Cold War.

“Steve and I lost touch for awhile,” Bucky answered simply.

“That's funny,” Natasha added, “I met Steve at S.H.I.E.L.D. but he never mentioned Bucky.” She turned to Bucky, and teased him, “I guess you’re just too forgettable.”

Bucky objected.

_So when did you realize you were in love with each other?_

“We didn’t, not for a long time!” Bucky and Natasha chorused together.

“I mean we’d become good friends, but then we lost touch after high school.” Bucky did not mention that he thought Natasha had been killed on a mission.

_Okay. Then how did you find each other again?_

“Mutual friends introduced us again at a party,” Natasha said. She also did not mention that she and the Avengers, including Steve, had accidentally encountered Bucky (as the Winter Soldier), and their mutual friends, Ana and Erik, on a mission in France.

“We were inseparable again," Bucky said, “but we still didn’t know we liked each other yet.”

Someone off screen who sounded a lot like Tony Stark commented that they were _destructively_ inseparable. Another voice warned Tony not to joke about anything on a livestream.

_I see. Natasha, after you relationship with Scott Lang ended, you didn’t see anyone for awhile._

“Didn’t you say at the time that you met someone who was out of this world?” Bucky teased his girlfriend, referring to Fandral.

“I don’t remember,” Natasha answered with a straight face. She would rather not have any paparazzi hitchhiking their way to Asgard. “Anyway, after that I dated Bruce Wayne. Great guy. I hear he and Selina Kyle are happily engaged.”

_A month after you announced your breakup with Bruce Wayne, you were in a relationship with Bucky._

The interviewer was trying to pry for any cheating scandals. “It happens,” Bucky shrugged. “Sometimes when you click, you just click.”

“We were friends for such a long time.” Natasha said. “I guess once we both just happened to be single at the same time, we decided to take the next step.”

Offscreen, Tony and Aamir from I.T. protested.

“Okay, yeah, Tony Stark and some of our friends from work” he did not mention that it involved the whole I.T. Department of S.H.I.E.L.D. “got us to realize that the person for us was with us the whole time.”

_Did you expect the backlash against you two?_

“There were definitely consequences at work,” Natasha hedged.

“Consequences? It was more like…” Bucky hesitated, remembering the publicist’s warning _not_ to talk about the rogue possum.

“Actually a lot of people at work were happy for us,” Natasha said, rescuing Bucky from an awkward moment.

“Except Fury!” Clint Barton’s voice added, referencing the Bus that had to be renovated a second time.

_I meant the public backlash. People thought you were cheating on Bruce Wayne with Bucky._

“That’s not how it happened,” Natasha said. She admitted that she had long broken up with Bruce Wayne before dating Bucky.

_And that New Year’s Kiss! That and your swordfight on Halloween was what started the cheating scandal in the first place._

“Are people _still_ talking about that?!”

_It was really steamy._

Bucky blushed. "Okay, well, of course it was!" He pointed at Natasha. "Have you seen her? She is smoldering hot."

Offscreen, the S.H.I.E.L.D. publicist had a hell of a time preventing the other Avengers from referring to 'wild animals.'

“It was pretty rough on us,” Bucky acknowledged, “especially on Nat. I thought I would take the brunt of it, because people do know me as a 'serial heartbreaker,' but I was wrong." He wrapped his arm around Natasha to comfort her. “I still get mad when i think about it, because there wasn't much else you could do except tell people to cut it out. They called her names." He paused. "We would probably never have said anything if it weren’t for Fury. That’s our director.”

“He suggested we stay with some friends,” Natasha said, "and hide out for awhile." Actually, Fury used Thor to threaten them into going to Asgard, but that was beside the point.

"We needed it."

_So what’s it like, dating a co-worker?_

Bucky shrugged. “What’s there to tell?”

_You see each other every second of every day. That can get annoying, can’t it?_

“As friends we had our…arguments." Natasha explained. "I think we worked it out long before we started dating.”

“Steve helped,” Bucky pointed out, without mentioning that he’d been stuck with Natasha inside the medical room of S.H.I.E.L.D. where an ominous-looking box of needles happened to be sitting on a table nearby, “so by the time we (finally) started dating, we knew when and how to give each other space.”

Clint’s voice chimed in again. “Giving each other ‘space’? HAH!” He resisted joking about pest control.

Bucky and Natasha ignored him while they talked about giving small gifts to each other just to show the other person they cared. Natasha put her red hair behind her ears to show off the long earrings. “This was for our first anniversary,” she said proudly. What she didn’t say was that Bucky had tracked down a petty thief in Austria for a mission. He not only got the thief to reveal the whereabouts of a high-profile criminal S.H.I.E.L.D. wanted captured, he found the location of the best jewelry designer in Europe. The earrings were custom-made.

Without going into too much detail, Bucky said that they influenced each other and gave each other advice on missions. Her signature Widow Bites were an adaptation of one of Bucky's weapons; his fluid and acrobatic movements were the result of taking dance and gymnastics lessons from Natasha.

“Bucky and I complement each other," Natasha concluded.

“We work well together,” Bucky agreed.

_So are you like married super-spies, then? Like Mr. and Mrs. Smith?_

Bucky did not like the movie because _everyone_ compared his relationship with Natasha to that film; Natasha could sort of see the resemblance.

“That’s because Mrs. Smith uses dual weapons,” Bucky told Natasha.

“Well we’re both definitely passionate about what we do,” Natasha laughed.

Tony’s voice chimed in suggestively, “And for each other.”

_So any plans to get married?_

“Married?”

Bucky and Natasha looked at each other.

“You two are practically an old married couple, Buck.” Steve Rogers called out.

“We hadn’t even thought that far yet,” Natasha responded.

Afterward, Bucky and Natasha discussed the charity work they did through Stark Industries, Natasha’s fashion sense, and their weekend skydiving.

* * *

 “You know, Nat,” Bucky said almost six months after the livestream took place, “Steve’s right.”

“What?” Natasha was busy focusing on making her lasagna for Jane Foster’s baby shower.

"We _are_ practically an old married couple."

Natasha dropped her spatula when she saw Bucky kneeling down on the floor with a ring in his hand.

Two years later, with the Avengers, Stanley from Accounting, Bob the janitor, and Aamir from I.T. as guests, Steve as best man, Erik and Fandral as groomsmen, Ana as maid of honor, Darcy and Jane as bridesmaids, and Phil Coulson playing the role of proud Father of the Bride, Bucky and Natasha were officially made husband and wife by Director Nick Fury in a quiet ceremony at the place where Bucky and Natasha's loving relationship really began:

The Bus.


	7. Stuck Here With You Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Due to an accident caused by a young Jotunheim Beast, Bucky Barnes and Fandral the Dashing are forced to wander the ice caverns together and find a way out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cut down four chapters into one: this one. Made it less wordy and streamlined the action. I know there are grammar problems though so if you catch any please let me know.
> 
> This takes a lot of liberties with what Jotunheim Beasts do. I'm starting to get some ideas from [The Mighty Quest for Epic Loot beta](https://www.themightyquest.com/) of all places and have some creatures in mind based on DnD and other RPG games.

“Why, of all people, did I have to get stuck with you?”

“Because you were too chaotic for Midgard, remember, James?”

Bucky did not like Fandral’s pompous condescension one bit. It did not help, either, that they were former rivals over the affections of the seductive but deadly Natasha Romanoff and were cursed to share nearly identical personalities with each other. He and the Asgardian refused to admit their respect for the other man and their protectiveness of family and friends and chose instead to bring out the worst in each other. Every single time they met, they mutated into highly competitive show-offs.

There could only be one ladies’ man in each world, after all.

But now the two evil twins were stuck in this Jotunheim ice cavern with a young Jotunheim Beast twice the size of a Midgardian elephant and separated from Fandral’s brothers, Volstagg and Hogun, and Bucky’s girl, Natasha. The mother of the Beast was actually the runt that he and Fandral had tried - and failed - to tame in New York City, and only Natasha had been able to stop it from terrorizing the area. Back when they were still dating, Natasha and Fandral had affectionately named her Helena (Lena for short, but Natasha preferred to call her “sweet Lenochka”). Bucky was pretty sure Lena had picked up a few fighting tips from Natasha; despite being a runt, Lena was able to use her small stature to her advantage and fight her way to become leader of the pack. Unfortunately for Bucky, Lena still viewed Natasha and Fandral as her parents and did not like Natasha’s new relationship with Bucky one bit.

So he was pretty sure Lena was going to blame him for her child’s mishap.

It wasn’t even his fault it happened. The young Beast was always curious and always exploring, so it was inevitable that it would get into trouble. When Lena and her herd were leaving for their hunt, the two Midgardians and the Warriors Three were tasked with taking care of the Beast. Everything had been going well until the herd returned, and the little Beast had managed to find the most dangerous ice cavern and activate a trap. Fandral had gone after the Beast, and Bucky, not wanting to lose to Fandral, had gone after him. And, of course, the entrance to the cavern had been closed off behind them as soon as they entered.

_“Bucky! Are you okay?”_

_“I’m fine, Nat.”_

_They heard the growls of the young Jotunheim Beast calling out to its worried parents._

_“Bucky, you find a way out of there, you hear? We’ll wait for you on the other side. Lena seems to know where to go.”_

Bucky and Natasha weren’t even supposed to be here. The bright idea to ‘vacation’ in Asgard was Director Nick Fury’s. Fury claimed that Bucky and Natasha were stressed from the public backlash (and occasional assault from a fan) over their 'scandalous' New Year’s Kiss and the tabloid reveal of their newfound relationship with each other. Two stressed assassins did not make for very successful missions, so he figured that taking the couple as far away from Earth as possible would help to clear their heads. What better place to do it than Thor’s homeland of Asgard? What Fury didn’t know (and what no one wanted to tell him) was that Bucky and Natasha were not ready to return to Asgard yet; the last time they were there, Thor was getting married to Jane Foster and they were, well, getting it on inside Odin’s trophy room. Rumors of their indiscretion somehow replaced the traditional Asgardian creation myth, and the god considered this a grave insult.

Fandral, who preferred staying on Natasha's good side, did not welcome the idea of Bucky staying with him in the same house either.

_“What about Sif? They could stay with her.”_

_“She made it clear she did not want to be disturbed.”_

_“Loki then?”_

_“The Spider’s mate tries to murder him whenever they meet.”_

_“What about one of your guest houses?”_

_“Not after what they did at the wedding...So."_

_“So."  
_

_“That leaves you three. Volstagg and Hogun seem to be okay with this."  
_

_“But we’re going to kill each other.”_

_“No, all you really do is provoke the Soldier of Winter for your own amusement, brother. I_ trust _you'll keep them safe._ ”

Thor had been adamant that the two assassins live with the Warriors Three; he did not want another ruckus in the main cities of Asgard. Therefore, the two ladies’ men were forced to accept their fates, but not without a fight. Fandral had been unable to resist the temptation to tease Bucky for whatever troubles he had back in Midgard, and Bucky had pointed out that Thor demoted him from a fierce Warrior into his and Natasha’s simple tour guide. They both made a show of drawing themselves up to their full height and challenging each other. If it hadn’t been for Natasha, Volstagg and Hogun’s intervention, who knows what would have happened next? Ironically, Fandral and Bucky were now going to spend a lot of alone time together working out their differences and the Beast was to blame for their predicament.

The young Beast seemed to read Bucky's thoughts and growled innocently as if to apologize.

“Too late for that,” Bucky sighed.

“Let us determine how we are going to escape from here,” Fandral suggested, holding up a torch to see where they were going.

“I agree; we need to make this as quick and painless as possible.”


	8. Stuck Here With You Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky Barnes, Fandral, and the Beast make the unanimous but questionable decision to split up. Bucky has clearly never adventured before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Baby Jotunheim Beast based on this Thor [concept art](http://marvelcinematicuniverse.wikia.com/wiki/Jotunheim_Beast?file=Frost_Beast_Concept.jpg)
> 
> Chapter assumes that Jotunheim Beasts have spikes on their back when they're younger as a second line of defense from predators because their tails aren't long enough yet to cause any damage. The spikes fall out (or get shorter?) as they get older. This takes a lot of liberties with what kinds of creatures live in Jotunheim.

Fandral, Bucky, and the Jotunheim Beast had come across an impasse: there were three ways they could forge ahead, and no one knew which way was the safest or the fastest.

“So which way are we going?”

“Left.”

“Right.”

“What’s wrong with the middle?”

“Nothing! But...”

Bucky and Fandral played rock-paper-scissors to decide which route to choose. Fandral won; that meant they’d all have to take the right tunnel.

“Best two out of three.”

“All right then.”

This time Bucky won, and Fandral decided it was better to have a fight to the death. The two men actually took time to consider this option before reason won out and they decided Natasha would kill them if anything went wrong.

“Nat would kill me for murdering her ex, and she’d kill you for killing me. Not that you could."

“Is that a challenge?”

Fandral drew out his sword; Bucky drew his pistol. Thankfully, reason won out over instinct, and they decided they would split up; Fandral would take the right and Bucky would take the left. Hopefully, they would all end up outside the cavern or at least meet up at the end of these tunnels. They both assumed that the Jotunheim Beast would follow one of them, but it only huffed and chose the middle tunnel, refusing to be part of Fandral and Bucky’s petty argument.

So Bucky walked his chosen path, cold and alone, with only a torch, a pistol, some provisions and his wits to guide him. The paleness of the cavern unnerved him; he had flashbacks of drowning in water and ice. He walked faster, eager to get out of here as soon as he could, but the dead silence of the cave forced him to introspect. Bucky wondered why he had to pick a fight with Fandral (technically, Fandral picked a fight with him) when he knew it was more beneficial for all three of them to stick together. Natasha couldn’t have been the reason they fought; his friendship-to-a-relationship with her had survived other men on her side and other women on his. So what was it about the Asgardian that irritated him this much?

Before Bucky could come to any realization, his thoughts were interrupted by screeching and flapping from behind him and he whirled around to defend himself from the source. He was relieved to find a group of furry white bats, who might be able to lead him outside. As he followed them, he quickly stopped in front of the body of water in front of him, and watched on as the bats flew upward toward the stalactites instead of forward. He immediately regretted leaving his grappling hook behind at Earth. Holding onto a stalagmite nearby for stability, Bucky checked his surroundings. The reflection of the lake painted blue and ivory waves along the surface and the gentle movement of arctic carp breaking through the surface of the water produced little splashes. Bucky decided that this particular area was not too dangerous, so he gradually replaced his fear of the ice with his curiosity. He carefully treaded around the lake and came across an innocent looking pillar with a dull-looking rock sitting on top. Upon closer examination, Bucky saw that the rock was hiding traces of brilliant green underneath; if he could find someone to refine it, it would be a perfect present for Natasha.

He had to make it out of here alive so he could show her.

“James, _run!_ ”

Bucky quickly went on the alert; there was roaring and the sound of ice collapsing behind him. Whatever was chasing after him was far too enormous for him to handle. Fighting back was not an option. He clutched the rock in his hand and ran away from the danger toward the first opening he could find. “Wha-” He felt something hoist him up and drop him behind…

Fandral?

“How did-”

“No time! Yeti! Hold on!”

He grabbed onto one of the spikes on the Jotunheim Beast’s back. His line of sight followed where Fandral had been pointing and he saw the rampaging Yeti, who were clearly angry at having been disturbed. One of the Yeti broke off a piece of icy stalagmite growing off its shoulders and aimed it at the trio of unexpected adventurers.

“Duck!”

The Jotunheim Beast roared in panic while the two men tried to flatten themselves as much as possible on its back. Bucky hoped (prayed) it was true what Thor said about the Beasts. They zipped off to the side and Bucky saw the stalagmite whoosh past them, hitting the wall ahead. The Beast yelped and maneuvered itself around the falling debris, scrambling to safety. Next thing he knew, they were at a dead end, with the two Yeti quickly closing in.

“This is it; we’re done for.”

“Not quite yet, my friend.”

Fandral clung onto the spikes of the Jotunheim Beast tighter.

Bucky decided it was best to follow suit.

The Jotunheim Beast stared at the wall of ice in front of it and hesitated. It was about to do something it had never done before and didn’t know if it could execute well.

"You can do it." Fandral soothed it. "You're your mother's child, after all."

It better be able to do something quick, Bucky thought, or they were going to be the Yeti's meal for the day.

The little Beast gave a warning growl to the two humans on its back, and backed a distance from the wall. The Yeti were closing in fast, but the Beast was faster. As it ran, it gathered enough speed and momentum to leap as high as it could onto the wall and run along the sides of the cavern so that it ended up behind the Yeti.

“It can do that?!” Bucky asked.

He looked behind him; the creatures were flailing their arms about as if to say, "You better run!" The Beast only ran and ran and ran until the coast was finally clear, and it stopped somewhere to catch its breath.

“Holy crap, we’re okay!”

Fandral looked at him. “Of course we’re ‘okay.’ Jotunheim Beasts are known for their speed and grace.”

“Like a ballerina.” No wonder Natasha was able to bond with Lena so quickly.

Fandral saw the gemstone that Bucky held in his hand. “Unbelievable. You found time to loot? Let me see that.” Fandral yanked the rock from him before he could do anything else. “Where did you find it? It’s known as one of the rare tears of the azure Jotunheim Serpent.”

Bucky told him.

“Odd.”

“What?”

“It was placed on a pedestal just like that? Right by the lake?”

“Well….yeah.”

“And you just took it?”

“Yep.” Bucky took the stone back and put it in his pack for safekeeping.

“That explains the boulder and the Yeti.” Fandral looked puzzled.

“But?”

“It was rather anti-climactic. I would have expected more.”

“ _What?_ ”

“Something’s off. There was no, as your friend Aamir might say, _epic fight._ ”

As soon as Fandral said that, the two humans and the Beast were surrounded by an ice witch and her minions.


	9. Stuck Here With You Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky, Fandral and the Jotunheim Beast reluctantly go questing. Then, they bond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been playing too many hack n slash games. I just know it.

“This is your fault!”

Bucky leapt off of the Jotunheim Beast to provide it some support (use it as a shield; it seemed to be immune to ice) and help it navigate its way through the crowd of minions. He figured ice creatures were weak to fire, but even though they remained wary of the torch he was holding, they were undeterred. They moved closer to him and shot blasts of ice and snow in his direction. He had to dodge and somersault to get out of their way.

“ _My_ fault? You don’t just… _take everything you see_ , James!” Fandral slashed a skeleton in half. “What were you thinking?!”

The ice witch only revived the skeleton, who continued to attack Fandral.

“Fandral, I _had_ a reason, okay?!”

Before an elemental could drown him in vapor and ice, Bucky slammed it to the floor with his metal arm and prayed the arm wouldn’t get damaged in the process. Right as the other elementals was about to crush Bucky, he leapt over them using one of the skeletons’ heads as leverage.

“I don’t think brute force is going to work!”

“Then how are we supposed to kill them?”

“Whatever you did with the gun seemed to help!”

It did seem to help; the bullets seemed to cause enough damage to the skeletons that Fandral could slash them once and they would fall. However, the ice witch kept reviving them, and every time they stood again, it would take even longer for him, Fandral, and the Beast to kill them.

“I don’t have a lot of bullets left!”

She was the one they really needed to defeat first, Bucky thought. When there was an opening, he made sure to aim his precious bullets at her head. Unfortunately, a group of frost skeletons took the damage for her and she quickly moved out of his range. One of his bullets managed to graze her cheek, but she only wiped off the blood before commanding a group of elementals to retaliate.

“Wish Barton was here!” Bucky figured Barton had a few fire arrows they could have used.

“Agreed!” Fandral nodded, before slashing at a group of frost imps.

Bucky attempted to shoot at the witch again, but only got her shoulder because she never stayed in the same position for long. The next bullet hit an ice elemental in the head instead. One bullet left. Great. He needed to make it count, but these monsters were getting in his way. The young Jotunheim Beast, meanwhile, was slowly working its way through the minions, but at its age it wasn’t yet a strong match against all of them. Regardless, it still created a sizable dent in the population.

“Pray tell, Sir _James,_ what was your ‘perfectly good’ reason for disturbing an angry ice witch and setting off a boulder trap?”

Fandral and Bucky were getting overwhelmed by the minions even though they were inching closer and closer to the ice witch.

“You’re the one that made it worse! ‘It was _rather_ anti-climactic.’ You’re trying to get us killed!”

They retreated back to the back of the young Jotunheim Beast, who was still doing its best to knock out some frost imps and skeletons.

“You fight nasty, like ’Tasha.”

Bucky blinked at that; he didn’t know what Fandral meant. “Anyway, the rock was _green._ ” He tried to aim at the witch again, but her minions kept getting in the way. “This is taking way too long.” Bucky yanked Fandral’s sword from him. “Give me your sword.”

“Hey! You ask before you take!”

“Couldn’t risk you saying no.” Bucky leapt across the roomful of minions and personally stabbed the witch in the heart. Just in case she couldn’t die that way, he shot her in the head. He couldn’t think of anyone who would survive a shot like that. As the witch dissolved into vapor, the reluctant questers sensed her minions weakening. They made short work of the surviving monsters.

“Show off,” Fandral grumbled when Bucky made his way back to him and the Beast. “Give me back my sword.”

“You’d have done the same. You just didn’t think of it first.” He looked around. “So is it over yet?”

Fandral looked around too. “Guess so. Although I _am_ worried about a ‘boss fight,’ like your friend would say.”

Bucky groaned. “ _Now_ you tell me.”

“That gem you took _was_ called the tear of the Azure Jotunheim Serpent after all.” He paused. “Well, let’s just hope we don’t run into one.”

They walked on in silence.

Fandral spoke up first. “While we’re still trying to find our way out, I guess it’s time we had a talk.”

“Okay.” Bucky wasn’t much of a talker.

“I don’t hate you, you know.” Fandral admitted.

“What?”

“I mean I hated you at first.”

“So did I,” Bucky confessed.

“Yeah?”

“Steve says it’s because I liked Natasha then, but I think there’s more to it than that.” He paused, considering what he’d say next. “We both have brothers we’d do anything for.”

“There’s that.”

“You practically grew up with them. I did, too, but then…I didn’t remember him. Steve, I mean.”

“You couldn’t have known what would happen to the both of you, James.”

“He was just out there, all by himself.” Bucky faltered. “He may be Captain America now but he’s still that same kid I found in an alleyway getting beat up. If I’d known, I could have been there to help him and-”

“Well,” Fandral said, “now you have all the time in the world to spend with him now.”

Bucky considered this. “And I would never have met Natasha if…” He didn’t finish the sentence; he didn’t need to. He shook his head. “She’s a real spitfire.”

“She is. You know something Bucky?”

“What?”

“When our relationship ended, I was pretty sure you’d be her next, after me. Imagine my surprise when it wasn’t.” Fandral admitted that when Natasha wanted to introduce Fandral to her boyfriend, he was expecting to see Bucky. He had never expected to see Kal’El’s friend at all.

Bucky decided to ask, “How long did you know Nat before she dated you?”

“Four years. Dated her for two.”

“I knew her for decades. First love?”

“Lady Marian, centuries ago. Beautiful woman. Had the spirit of a dragon like ‘Tasha does. You? ”

“Jessica. I was twelve. She didn’t like me that much.”

“Was she a redhead too?”

“Nah. Blonde. Who taught you?”

“No one. I’m not called Dashing for nothing, you know.”

Bucky considered this. “I don’t think anyone taught me either…it was trial and error. I always did like a pretty face. Especially redheads, according to Steve.”

“Only reason ‘Tasha snagged either of us was because she wasn’t that interested, you know. Not at first.”

“She’s like that,” Bucky agreed.

“And I swear by Odin’s beard that if you harm her in any way I will personally come to visit you in Midgard and drag your mangled corpse to the Frost Giants as sacrifice.”

Bucky held out his hand to Fandral as a truce. “Call me Bucky.”

Fandral shook it. “Call me Fred.”


	10. Russian Heartbreak!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Marvin Gaye - "Let's Get It On"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6QZn9xiuOE)

“Russian Heartbreak! Natasha Romanoff and Bucky Barnes Split!”

“I don’t understand, Nat.” Bucky shook his head. “We’re broken up now? All I did was go on a mission without you for three weeks and they’re claiming we split?”

“They do not want to admit we’re in a happy relationship.” Natasha noted with disdain.

“I really should stop reading this crap.”

Natasha kissed him suggestively on the lips. “I’m sure I can help you with that.”

"I'm sure you can."


	11. Lemons Out of Lemonade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle want to invite Bucky and Natasha to their wedding...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has no plot to it. Refers to [The Rogue Possum and the Asgardian Creation Myth](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1119073/chapters/2254544)

“You’re serious about inviting Natasha to the wedding?”

“Yes, Tony, why? I talked about it with Selina; she likes Natasha just fine.”

“I’m not worried about that. The last time she went to a wedding, she and Bucky rewrote a creation myth. Do you really want that kind of trauma on your hands?”

Bruce Wayne laughed; he’d heard about this from Clark Kent. “How’s Natasha doing?”

“Mostly trying not to beat people down to a pulp. You know how she gets.”

“Does the public _still_ want to see me with her?”

Tony Stark shrugged. “The whims of the Internet,” he casually waved it off. “Anyway that’s not S.H.I.E.L.D.’s concern. They’re more worried about Bucky and Natasha destroying multiverses. But if that’s how I can finally meet The Doctor…”

“You’re that desperate?”

“Hey, lemons out of lemonade, right?”


	12. Fans Sign Online Petition for Bucky and Natasha to Leave the Avengers!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Bucky and Natasha are just done with everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I might have read the k-pop news recently...

Even with the S.H.I.E.L.D. publicist’s help, the ‘scandal’ of their relationship became far larger than the real Bucky Barnes and Natasha Romanoff. It practically overshadowed the positive accomplishments of S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers. While they had been sent to Asgard on Fury’s orders, their fans had become furious; their image of Bucky Barnes had been tarnished. They had forgiven the image of Bucky as a player, believing that he would one day choose to settle down and focus his attentions on one of them. When it turned out that was not the case, they retaliated against him. When neither Bucky nor Natasha apologized for being in a relationship with each other, many members of the rabid fanbase wanted blood to be shed.

They demanded a sacrifice; the Winter Soldier and the Black Widow were to be exiled from the Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D. If Director Nick Fury refused to oblige, they threatened chaos and destruction.

Bucky and Natasha had discussed this at length with the publicist and their friends; this was not a decision to be made lightly. They considered their options. Money was not a problem; the two agents had already been prepared for all sorts of disasters, big and small. Boredom was not the issue either; they knew that people from all over the world would require their specific skillsets. More, Bucky and Natasha were simply drained. They missed their time in Asgard; Bucky and Fandral had finally come to an understanding, and Natasha had reconnected with her favorite Jotunheim Beast, Helena, and her herd. Perhaps additional time away from S.H.I.E.L.D. and Avengers duties was exactly what they needed.

And so, on this day, the couple walked determinedly to Director Nick Fury’s office, ignoring the stares of the other S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. Before they knocked on the door, Bucky asked Natasha, “You sure you want to do this?”

“Absolutely,” she answered.

Bucky smiled. “Well, then, let’s go.”

Natasha took his hand, and together, they opened the door.

“What is it, you two?” Nick Fury asked.

Bucky took a step forward and put down the tabloid article on the Director's desk.

The headline read: “Fans sign online petition for Bucky Barnes and Natasha Romanoff to leave The Avengers!”

“Steve sent me a message about it while we were in Asgard,” Bucky explained, “so Natasha and I talked.”

“Besides, you still have the rest of the Avengers and the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents.” Natasha pointed out. “They’re perfectly capable of carrying out missions without us.”

Nick Fury knew exactly where this was headed. He had a sense that this was what Bucky and Natasha ultimately needed, but he’d hoped that by sending them to Asgard, they might change their minds. Bucky and Natasha were the wild children of his great big S.H.I.E.L.D. family, and, even though he would never admit it, he would miss them once they were gone. He kept silent, waiting for Bucky and Natasha to finish their speech.

“We’re just really tired of all the crap we’re getting from fans and we don’t want to be a distraction to the Avengers’ mission. Or to S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“You’re never going to be a distraction,” Fury muttered, but he knew it was inevitable.

“So… we quit.”

News that Bucky Barnes and Natasha Romanoff had quit S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers spread fast across the nation, throwing fans of the two spies into internal turmoil. Some were in disbelief; they did not realize that their words actually held consequences. Others believed that Bucky and Natasha deserved this: one, it was Bucky’s fault for creating the illusion of the dream boyfriend, and two, it was Natasha’s fault for cheating on Bruce Wayne and being so damn sexy. Truthfully, neither of them had done anything; the illusion of the Winter Soldier and the Black Widow were largely the product of the media’s imaginations that had gone out of hand. Seduction was indeed a part of their jobs as spies, and Bucky did go out with quite a few women prior to dating Natasha, but the truth was, for all of their superpowers, Bucky and Natasha were simply human.

“This is why we can’t have nice things,” one fan remarked.

“Seriously though, good for them!” Another approved.

When asked to comment on the ‘scandal,’ Steve Rogers, Clint Barton, Sam Wilson, Bobbi Morse and Tony Stark each admitted that the couple had privately declared their intentions to leave S.H.I.E.L.D.; they all expected this to happen, sooner or later. As for Bucky and Natasha, they were free from the burden of their careers and the publicity that came with it. For the length of their leave, they freelanced as spies and traveled around the world wherever their missions would take them. They walked Macchu Picchu and sipped wine on the gondolas of Italy. Sometimes they enjoyed the peace of the countryside or rode down the long and winding roads of the desert. Often, they returned to Asgard to enjoy the quests through abandoned mines and unexplored caves.

News of Bucky and Natasha’s travels, including 'leaked' photos of the two together, abruptly transformed the couple from romantic traitors to the great Avengers love story in the eyes of most of the public, and the outcry died down long enough for Bucky and Natasha to end their freelancing careers and quietly return to work for S.H.I.E.L.D.


	13. (NEW) A Bigger Scandal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by this [article](http://www.soompi.com/2013/12/28/cl-wants-a-scandal-with-taeyang-teases-fans-with-couple-like-photo/#.U723QLHEn8I) but with no resemblance to it at all

“Would you look at that? Bucky and Natasha are in another scandal.” Sam Wilson showed the article to Tony Stark. This time, the supposed scandal involved Bucky Barnes and Natasha Romanoff simply holding hands and hugging and kissing each other affectionately during Tony’s New Year’s extravaganza.

“How many times has that been now?” Tony made a mental note to improve security.

“I don’t know. Twentieth time this week?”

“You know what’d be an even bigger scandal?”

Sam’s eyes widened when he realized what Tony would say next. “Oh no. Tony, _no._ I was _there_ when it happened. I can’t unsee it anymore!”

Tony paused for dramatic effect.

“Don’t say it. Don’t you say it-”

“A _rogue possum._ ”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [We Met At A Party](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1173362) by [lilithtorch2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilithtorch2/pseuds/lilithtorch2)




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